Choose Success, It's Your Decision

The time to change has come and gone

Watched your fears become your god

It's your decision

That is the opening verse from the song Your Decision by Alice In Chains. I can relate to that because it is exactly what I did. I let my fears hold me back. I didn't choose success. I had to change things in my life a long time ago and I didn't. Maybe you can relate?

Don't Let Fear Consume Your Life

I let my fears consume my life and hold me back from doing the things that I wanted to do. It held me back in my home based business and internet marketing business. I was shy and self conscious so, my self esteem was low. I had a bad self image and felt unworthy.  

Dealing with rejection was not easy. It made me feel the pain that I had at other times in my life. I always felt that I was not good enough and unworthy because of things others said. I didn't choose success because I felt unworthy of it.

Maybe you have felt these things as well. Have you ever dreaded talking to people about a business opportunity? Was recommending a product that helped you a little awkward? Even though you know it can help someone else? 

Have you ever had your anxiety level go up before you started a conversation with someone? Did you ever have to do breathing exercises before speaking to somebody? How about giving yourself a pep talk to get the courage to start a conversation? 

Have you ever had confidence on a subject that you know in and out? Then when you went to make a video about it, you freeze as soon as the camera goes on? 

Negative Self Talk Will Hold You Back

It has all happened to me. I would make videos and be in a panic the whole time I was recording the video. However, I was trying to make it look like I wasn't. When it came to making a video, I would get nervous. 

I would be critical of the video because of my fear of rejection. So, I would either not post it or take it down. My thought was that if I took it down, nobody could give me bad feedback.

In my mind, I would tell myself how the lighting and background was no good. I would tell myself that I looked bad or didn't speak fluent enough. The content was was accurate because I knew it well but, my head was filled with too many negative thoughts.

I let those fears keep me from making videos and becoming more active on social media. It prevented me from building my internet marketing business and MLM. 

I was afraid of what people would think about the way that I look and sound. My head was filled with fears about what people would think. So, I was afraid that people would think that I wasn't smart enough. 

The fear of being rejected was holding me back because I wouldn't post the videos. So, fear of rejection didn't let me choose success. 

All Of The Education In The World Means Nothing If You Are Afraid To Share It

I have taken many courses, read many books and have attended many business conferences. They have been about internet marketing, leadership and personal development. I wasn't doing anything with all of that knowledge because of unnecessary fears.

Why did I feel all of these things and let it keep me from going after my dreams? Because it was MY DECISION. It may have been an unconscious decision but it was still a decision. 

Unconscious decisions come from repeated conscious decisions, so these decisions become automatic. You make them over and over until it gets into your unconscious mind. 

Once that happens, your unconscious mind goes to work. It will create the physical equivalent of what you keep telling yourself. 

You Must Understand How Your Unconscious Mind Works

Your unconscious mind makes decisions for you automatically. It does not know the difference between reality and fantasy. 

Your unconscious mind believes whatever you tell yourself or concentrate on the most. It goes to work to reproduce what you focus on the most. So, if you have a lot of negative self talk in your head, it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. Choose success so success becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.

Learning A Skill Or A Craft Is Just Part Of The Battle

I never had a problem studying or learning the content. It actually fascinated me. I couldn't wait to share it with it people. That is, until it came time to actually share it with people. 

I had no problem writing blog posts. The problem came when it was time to make a video. Adding the video to my blog post is when the self sabotage came into play.

Why did I have all of these negative beliefs about myself? For a long time I just thought that is how I was. In my mind, I was just shy and not a sociable person. I decided that was just the way it was. For awhile I felt I would never be more than a truck driver. 

You Must Come Out Of Your Comfort Zone

I was comfortable in the truck. It was very rare that I had to talk to someone. I was by myself all day.

As I started reading more and attending conferences things started to change. I was getting around successful people who have overcome similar things.

My desire was to be charismatic and to be sociable. I wanted to be able to talk in front of people, I just didn't know how to. 

What happened is, I let things that were said about me when I was younger, have a negative effect on me. So, I let things that other people said about me, become a reality. 

Don't Let Other People's Opinions Become Your Reality

People have opinions about everything. It is just that, an opinion but, you can't let it become a reality. Luckily for me I learned something at an early age: There are always people who are going to like you and people who aren't going to like you. 

It still took me a long time to realize that I had a problem dealing with rejection. So, I had to dig deep inside and get down to what was really holding me back. 

When you have a hard time dealing with rejection, it makes communicating with people hard. It holds you back in business. Fear or rejection will make you afraid of doing anything in the sales field because, sales is a high rejection business. It will hold you back if you are trying to build a MLM. 

Get To The Root Of Your Problems

Fear of rejection did all of those things for me. I dreaded sales, to the point where it caused me a lot of anxiety. I have 32 years experience in the trucking business. I don't deal with a lot of rejection in that business. My desire is to get out of trucking because I feel I can be more. I can be more than a truck driver but, I have to overcome my fear of rejection.

I always had an interest in learning real estate. So I started learning real estate. I got a real estate sales license and became a loan officer for a mortgage company. Fear of rejection prevented me from doing as well as I wanted to because the less people I talked to, the less rejection I would get. 

Not because I didn't know real estate and finance. It was because I lacked confidence. I didn't want to deal with more rejection. So, I would not talk to as many people as I should have. 

Real estate and finance I know well, so that is not what held me back. I just didn't have the mental capacity to deal with the rejection. 

Take Whatever Time You Need To Figure It Out

It took me a long time to figure that out. Thousands of hours of reading and attending personal development seminars. I have spent a lot on mindset training from highly successful people.

When I got into the internet marketing business, it carried over into that business. It prevented me from making videos and putting myself out there. Even though it would help other people. 

I was worried about what people would think about how I looked or sounded. I was worried that not being college educated would make me lose credibility. I was making it about me, so I lost sight of my purpose. It should have been me making it about helping others. I need to put the focus on others and not myself. 

Understand What Beliefs Are

That was my belief because it was a decision that I made. A belief is just something you tell yourself over and over again until you believe it to be true. 

I had to make a decision to choose success. I had to believe that I was capable and worthy of the success I wanted. Believe good things about yourself so the good things get into your unconscious mind. You will unconsciously choose success.

The bottom line is I wanted to help others overcome the things I have overcome to become successful. I was making it about me and not about other people, so my fears took over. 

My main goal is to help others overcome their limiting self beliefs. They are holding them back from achieving their goals and living a better life. If I help enough people reach their dreams, I will reach mine. 

Take The Focus Off Of Yourself And Put It On Others

Now I think about all of the people that I could have helped. I could have helped a lot of people already but I didn't. I let limiting self beliefs hold me back so, it prevented me from helping others. I think about the life that I have dreamed about giving my family. Thinking about how it can make their lives better. 

Now, I let the things that I want for other people motivate me. I remember what a leader in a home business said. It really struck me. He said "Success isn't measured by wealth, success is measured by how many people are better off because you lived." 

Overcoming Your Fears Helps Everyone

Everyone is not going to like us or agree with us. Nobody is liked by everyone. People have different personalities and we don't all get along. It is just the way it is. It is not personal and we have to keep that in mind.

I am so grateful for the people that helped me. They overcame their fears to choose success. If they didn't, I would have never found them. Maybe I wouldn't be where I am right now. I could still be self conscious and having internal conflicts. 

I wanted to be different than I was but didn't know how to. When you desire something but do the opposite because of fear, you create internal conflict.

Others overcame their fears and self limiting beliefs, so I am now getting to be the person that I have always wanted to be. I am not where I want to be yet but I am a lot closer than I was. 

Condition Your Mind For Success

You can overcome your fears and the things that are holding you back as well. It is just a matter of getting your mind in the right place and thinking about the right things. 

Wouldn't you love to be self confident? Would you like to be able to just go out there and teach everyone what you know? How would it feel to help them like you were helped? You can do that. It's your decision, decide to succeed, choose success. It is as simple as making some changes in your mindset.

Find People To Help You Succeed

There are some special people that I have learned from during my journey to where I am now. If it were not for them sharing their experiences and challenges that they had along the way, I would not be where I am now.

They have helped me go deep into the abyss of my mind. Now, I can really discover what has been holding me back so I can overcome it. I now choose success and believe I am worthy of it.

Getting My Mind Right Has Helped Me More Than Anything Else

I came across a high level mastermind group that has helped me immensely. It is led by someone who has been a top earner in the internet marketing business for over 20 years. 

She has helped set many people free from the things that are holding them back. I am lucky enough to be one of them. Maybe she can help you too. 

We meet once a month for 2 hours and have a group discussion of life altering concepts. They help stretch and grow our minds so we can take our businesses and lives to the next level. 

When you join you will also unlock all previous mastermind classes that are in the video library, so you can go back and review them all. 

Click the link below to get more information on The Deep Abyss Mastermind. You won't regret it.

If there is any way I can help you, reach out to me. You can go to my home page and join my newsletter for alerts when I have new blog posts or any cool trainings that are coming up. You can also reach me on email or social media:

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IG @roy_longhitano

To Your Success,

Roy Longhitano

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